My Youtube Crush Expressed His Crush For Me On Live Stream OMG

So you guys know I have been desperately trying to avoid my crush while also maintaining a normal subscriber relationship, but since I also create videos he gets to see me which is what fuels his crush (I’m thinking). So I love when he is on live and he has many many fans, but only a few that create videos I think.

Ugh he entered my DM’s one day last week and yes i was elated, but I had to politely decline and tell him that I was still a fan lol. Omg why do I have to reject someone that I want!? I just don’t even want to be the demise of someone’s relationship for my own personal pleasure and let be honest he’ll probably tell me whatever I want to hear to get what he wants. More over I’ll never know the real ins and out of his relationship and i could be walking into a world of trouble. I’ve been in those situations before and I hope I’ve learned my lesson. Bottom line what is for me is for me and what is for someone else is for that person. When you think you have all the power to have what someone else has worked for you will also be in a world of trouble no matter how much pleasure you think it will or is bringing you.

Like I said earlier I love the thought of him and I could just sit around all day thinking about him, but thoughts and actions are totally different things. The action of him should not happen and i think I made him feel bad by telling him I would not entertain him, but oh well his girlfriend wouldn’t want me all in his head making him think I’m just so awesome. Even tho I know I am awesome it would still be wrong to present myself in a loose fashion. Even discussing a liking for him is dangerous. He could be bored in his relationship and open to interacting with women and I don’t want to be one of those “how you get em is how you lose em” women even tho that could go in an way.

So he basically did a live stream, put my screen name and heart eyes by it as the title for his live stream. he clearly likes me and he says its because of how I look and who I look like, but I call bs on that. I don’t think someone would contact someone just ┬ábecause of how they look. That certainly isn’t what attracted me to him, but men and women are different. He is very attractive to me, but it isn’t his looks that I like since looks obviously fade.

Ultimately I’m backing down, but not out. Maybe I’ll stop commenting on his videos all together even tho I don’t think that is necessary. I also enjoy when he enjoys my videos, because I just do what I want to do and I appreciate people who appreciate my creativity.

Stripper Notes Where Have You Been and How Was Your Birthday!?

What’s up you guys I’ve actually started many posts that I haven’t published and my draft box has over 100 drafts in it as well, but I was feeling like posting anything on those topics since I was celebrating my birthday. I’ve been doing great just enjoying my summer. So my birthday was on May 27th and I went to Mexico for 5 days and it was amazing. I 100% enjoyed myself and it was my most amazing birthday to date. I’m going to celebrate this way in a different or favorite place every single year of my life and I’m never going to let anything or anyone stop me from being happy and celebrating my birthday the way I want especially if I’m going to have to pay for everything anyway. Last year I celebrated with my family and ended up paying for everything and not having a good time at all. I would have been better off just celebrating by myself. I enjoyed this year tho and it was a great start to my summer.

Since summer has started I’ve been able to work more and have a little bit more spare time, but I’m going to prepare to start school again pretty soon, because I want to be prepared. I need to do some paper work, register for classes and I’ll be set. Then I;m going to make my rent money for every month I will be in school because I don’t like to work that much when I’m in school because its very stressful to have test, quizzes, homework, papers and projects due while juggling bills and rent. That is very stressful especially with no help.

I told the guy I was dating to move on because he’s mediocre and inadequate and I don’t wish to live that way. I don’t know what kind of almost 42 year old man thinks he can date a young woman and not help her. He can take that ideology to someone else, because I don’t have time for that. Right now if the person that wants to date me can’t help me or doesn’t want to help me then we can’t date, because I need a lot of help especially from a 42 year old man who claims to be interested in me. You can’t be that interested if you don’t care about my livelihood as a young 25 year old woman. So with that being said I have a very full summer ahead of me. I’m excited to plan my life how I want it and get better at managing my time. I had a great semester last semester, but this semester will only be better! It makes me so happy to think of all the stress I am saving myself by planning ahead and using this time I have now to the fullest. I will thank, hug and kiss myself in the future months to come for all of the preparation I am doing.

I just wanted to pop in and say hello ­čÖé