I’m a 24-year-old African-American woman and the dating scene right now saddens me so much. The way men treat women is highly influenced on social media and anything, but love. While I find it very very hard to date right now I am not giving up on love. I have been dogged in the past and I feel like I rise above that and I am still a good person. That can’t be argued. What I hate the most about men who play you and lie to you is that when you are really truly ready to leave that’s when they want to shower you with “love” and compliment you on your beauty and wish you success and want to be “friends” *cough cough* fuck buddies. In a completely non bitter way I say to those men.
Have a tall glass of SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Those are manipulating statements to keep you on their heels. If a man ever does you wrong and you finally decide that you can’t take anymore and you are ready to walk away don’t be swindled by his “well wishes”. Those are not well wishes. Even if they really wish you well, which I’m sure they do its only to save their own souls from the guilt they will experience in the midst of your absence. Don’t get it twisted men are hurting too, but a person who has done you wrong cannot make you feel better with well wishes so politely tell him to shut the fuck up. You have to be a savage sometimes. A man like that has a small ego and more than likely he has been feeding on you positive feminine energy and never thought he’d see the day when you’d snatched it away to never be seen or heard of again. Also ladies and gentlemen don’t feel bad if your ex has moved on because you’ve been there, done that and they are an ex for a reason. You know that person and yeah they may look happy, but you know who they are and why you left so don’t be so quick to assume that they’ve magically changed for the next person.
As I date more and have more experiences I truly know what I want moving forward and while nothing is perfect I know what bullshit looks like now. Bullshit is non-communicating. If a man is not communicating with you then I’m sorry to tell you that he is probably communicating with some other woman. Which is unacceptable and that’s when you have to realize that he is not your man. He’s everybody’s man. He’s spreading himself thin and you’re allowing him to use up your time. Life is hard and don’t let him make it harder on you. Recently I’ve been thinking about life and death and when it comes to death the best way I can describe it is.
“I have not always been here and I will not always be here”
With that being said why in the world would I allow someone to waste my time or continue to waste my time once I realize what is going on?
Life truly is so short and nobody deserves to have their time wasted so its better to stop for a while and take the time to find someone who is worth all of your time until your time is up! – (wow that was a good one lol)
Refraining from sex can be one of those hard things to do, because we all take it for granted, but don’t do that. That’s your power and I didn’t say your bait. If you’re married and you stop having sex with your husband or wife that’s a whole other issue and I’m not advising anyone to do that unless you are ready for a divorce. Real talk.
Even now that I’m sort of newly single and everyday I swear up and down I know what I want until I meet that man and something just isn’t clean in the air. I truly want to take the time off to find myself first. I don’t want a rushed relationship just because we rushed the sex or I thought I had all the boxes checked off on my list. Waiting is so corny and cliché, but its a really smart thing to do and who doesn’t want to avoid all possible pitfalls. Don’t let people feed you those bullshit lies saying “you can have sex on the first date and be with that person forever”. Of course anyone can get stuck forever. Happens all the time. The next man I date will have to wait for me just because I’m tired of feeling violated and that’s how I usually feel when it all said and done.And I don’t like that feeling. I’m sure many of you can relate.
I want a mutually respectful natural love.
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The last thing I want to say about being a stripper and dating is I’m a stripper not a prostitute, don’t get it twisted. You can have a dating life as a stripper and in 100% honesty I’m not looking for a man to save me I have sugar daddies on sugar daddies, but if a man really loves me that will be something that he will couldn’t help but do.
This song is stuck in my head. Yall already know what I like lol.