As I told you guys mornings are the roughest and today is no different,but here we go! SO this will be a re-cap of yesterday.
Yesterday when I woke up I was tossing and turning and my stomach was churning. Whenever I have a change in my life and my anxiety spikes its like my stomach turns to mush. I know that’s a little graphic, but its the reality of the situation and if you are a chronic weed smoker who is about to stop. This is something that you may want to know. Yesterday the only real things on my agenda was to finish making my wig, market my products on eBay and edit backed up videos. I did pump out one video, but I have at least four more videos to edit and more to make!
I actually didn’t do any of that, however I did pump out a blog post for you lovely people. As I mentioned in my previous post my friend came over and wanted to smoke weed and he was a little bummed when I declined however i did smoke a couple of cigs with him.. I know he was bummed that I didn’t get high with him and he is a bit of a compulsive liar, but I just enjoy the presence of someone in the house so I really don’t listen to all of his wild stories to closely. He’s also a good listener so that’s also enjoyable.
My appetite is still in the crapper. From what I understand my brain is not sending hunger messages to my body for some reason so I am not getting hungry. I can tell that my body is using its stored energy though because I have been getting slightly dizzy and I wake up a tad nauseous in general. I have some nausea medicine that my doctor prescribed for me when I had the flu earlier this year so I will be taking those to see if they help with my appetite.
I went to work Tuesday night and it was horrible if you read my last post you already know that so I wasn’t too eager to go yesterday. I actually had a really uplifting day as far as not allowing negative energy to penetrate my spirit. It’s crazy that being sober and awake really makes me aware of media and musical influences so I barely listened to the normal music that I normally listen to. I will admit that the music that I listen to on a regular basis makes me highly emotional so I don’t plan on listening to any of that by choice.
By the time it was time for me to go to work I wasn’t feeling too bad about going to work, but I still didn’t want to go. Here is where the Goddess in you needs to wake up. At this point I know my worth and I have people I associate with who know my worth as well so I called one of my clients and said I didn’t want to go to work so I didn’t go. He took care of me which is nothing short of what I deserve.
Right now it s day #4 and I just woke up a few hours ago and I was feeling weird like I always am when I wake up and I don’t smoke, but I fight through it. I will also make a blog post listing hings that I have experienced anf you may experience when you are a chronic weed smoker.
Thanks for reading ttyl 🙂