Yeserday was a good day. I completed a lot of personal work with a very intelligent friend of mine and I’m proud of the work that we are doing. I did notice somethings that I cannot ignore however. As you guys know I have struggled severly with low weight issues. I’m talking a 5’6 75 lb 23 year old. I’ve been very wreckless with the amount of weed I’ve Sbeen purchasing and just smoking it up in days. One of my roommates co-workers came over sunday with some fire weed and drinks and I got so blazed with him lol. I think I was a bit out of character, but whatever we were doing drugs lol.
Lately I’ve been noticing that the weed isn’t doing what it used to for me and lately I feel like its holding me back. I didn’t have any weed at all yesterday and I didn’t eat any food at all either. I actually had bbq sunday & monday morning, but it made me throw up which I was happy about because I don’t like being nauseous. Last night I was so weak all I could do was lay in the bed and watch YouTube videos about weed withdrawls and that gave me much comfort and understanding. I realized exactly what was going on with my body and why I was feeling the way I was.
The only thing that truly worries me is my apetite. I’m probably 110 at this point and I am afraid to lose weight. I never want to go back to where I was last summer, but I don’t have an apetite right now. The only way I can think to eat is raw vegan, because that’s the only thing my stomach can take right now so Im going to get a watermelon and eat the whole thing and hopefully that gives me some energy. I also drink a crap ton of water.
Number two for me is insomnia and the shakes. Omg i thought my sleep was just off, but I also used to used weed to sleep which worked too well lol. I’d be tired all day long and wonder why I didn’t get anything done. Then after I was done wondering I’d roll up another blunt. I’m not gonna lie I fee really really crappy right now. I feel like I have no energy and that could be due to the fact that I didn’t eat a thing yesterday and its 9:37 am right now so my body probably needs some fuel. Remember you are reading from a person who’s been diagnosed with anxiety and depression as well. One thing I will say is my mind is already 100% more clear and that’s so worth all the physical agony to me 🙂
I woke up this mornign with a clear mind and I’m already knocking things out to do! This is blog post #2 for today and I haven’t written in like a week ugh, but I’m back now and better than ever!
I’m looking around my house right now and there are so many other things for me to do besides smoke weed lol. ttyl guys and stay tuned I already know this is going to be an intersting ride.
I’m on my way to the store right now to pick up a few melons and some ensure ( literally my favorite!) I will keep this weight on! I’m determined! One day you’ll be reading this in book form and saying omg I remember I used to read her blog!
Be back soon 🙂