I know we are on this wave of positivity in this day and time, but is it possible to be positive 24 hours a day 7 days a week? If anyone has mastered this positivity thing you guys thinks its me right? Yes I know lol, but I’ve been hit with a little depression while I’m on my trip. I’m in San Diego right now and yes I’m making the “Same Ol Mistakes” I also told you guys I’m a slight glutton for pain lol. I’ve been having weird dreams, emotions, and lastly I’m sad to say that I havent been eating. I used to think I did this on purpose and I did use to, but now it absolutely not a purposeful thing. My team of psychiatrist, nutritionists and blah blah blah helped me understand that it’s a chemical imbalance in my brain that I have to work to make balanced. Balance of emotions is my motivation for this post. I have realized once again that you cannot and should not be positive all the time. Life is about balance and you must have a balanced range of emotions. Just like everyone on earth I want to be happy all the time and I worked extremely hard to indeed be happier more than in a deep rest also known as depression. I’m 24 years old and I am clearly an old soul so sometimes I forget that life is not meant to be perfect. There must absolutely be a balance. Do NOT resist resistance. Let you emotions flow freely and understand that they must be the way they are.
The issue now is being aware, consciously knowing that the balance is happening and allowing your soul and physical body to be vulnerable to these changes. There is no other way. Also take control of your life and your emotions. A lot f the time we fee depressed because we simply are trying to live up to the standards of someone else and gong against our own better judgement and happiness. You are the god of your life and you should always be in control of the way you want to live. Do what makes you happy and not what you think will make someone else love you more, especially if its destroying your emotions. There is no getting around the fact that you may piss some people off and understand that it is THEIR problem not yours. People will test you to see if you are who you say you really are. I AM.
The last point I will make is DO YOUR RESEARCH. Search for answers as to why you are doing what you are doing and let them be reasons that are more than just surface reasons. Let your decisions have meaning. I’m not perfect, but everything I do comes with a reason. I still have tons of research to do also and I’m learning everyday. You also have to be very aware of other people’s level of awareness, because sometimes your favorite person isn’t as aware of the world as you think they or want them to be no matter what experiences they have had. I cannot listen to people who are not living the lifestyle I aspire to be living and neither can you life is too short for that.
Sooooo I’ve been working super hard to save money and I have been very successful. For a bout a week or so I did not write in my journal or blog and it has thrown me completely off track to do so. However I planned a trip. I knew it would take some money and time off of work so I wrote it all out. Writing something from your own brain creates a good visual for what you want to see happen.The first expense was the plane ticket of course and this can be a hard concept for people and they may feel like they are spending hundreds of dollars on something they can’t get back lol. There are cheaper alternatives for close by destinations, but my flight is 7-9 hours so imagine the drive. I also think flying is a good experience and it helps you not to be so afraid of the world and see how small it really is.
By the time I get back from my trip my rent will have been due a few days earlier so I planned to pay my rent before I left.Work has been very good so saving hasn’t been a struggle. I also did not want to spend money already saved so I planned to save spending money and I did. I also made sure I handled all of my bills and car maintenance before I left. Lastly I planned to do some shopping so I saved money for that. I wanted to account for every cent that could possibly be spent so I won’t come home with a huge dent in my account. Yesterday I calculated every deposit I have made since I’ve been dancing and I was very motivated after seeing that number. It made me look at money in a whole different way and now I’m able to learn some lessons on why I don’t have that money lol. I’m so excited to be going on this trip because I’m very tired and I could use a vacation. I also worked hella hard for it. If you want to take a break from work or whatever it is completely possible, but you have to put in a little extra work. I’m still a little amazed at how I am able to save money and still plan a trip, but they say you can do anything you put your mind to. I also want to mention that the journey to saving for my trip has not been perfect. Some days I made a little more that what I planned and some days I made a little less. I also have been a little lean with my spending habits and eating out. With a few little changes to your life saving is completely amazing.
When I started dancing I honestly never thought that people actually thought strippers would have sex would much more a quality stripper. Now I know that some people do expect sex from a stripper for a measly $300 because you have women that have sex for much less. Having sex with someone for money is completely out of the question for me and it’s actually annoying that men think a woman would sell her body that way. If I was a prostitute it’s not going to be for a little $300. I’ve actually turned down a couple of thousancd to have sex and that could have been some “quick easy” money. Emphasis on easy lol.
I get it that some men are lonely, divorced or whatever blah blah blah, but if you want to buy sex then go somewhere where they sell sex such as craigslist or backpage. I’m a stripper and I’m not going to repeat myself for much longer. I sell a fantasy not pussy. Now you can spend as much money as you want on the idea of f*cking me, but you will not f*ck me. I have no shame in taking someone’s money and walking off because they thought I was going to have sex with them, because men should definitely not assume that they are going to have sex with me. I don’t assume they’ll give me a million dollars so we’ll call it even when I take your couple of hundred ro be in my presence.
I actually had to cut off my asian regular because he thought we were going to have sex. When we didn’t have sex he thought I tricked him lol. I really hopes he finds the cheap hooker he’s looking for, because I don’t have time to waste with him and he knows his little pee pee is gonna have to pay me a couple stacks to even touch that thing. I have no problem with cutting off regulars, because as long as you don’t have sex with them they always come back duh. Girls actually mess the game up by having sex with their regular, but they think that’s an easier way to make money. Yes that is an easy way to make money, but that might be the last time that man gives you anything after you have sex with him. I have no problem cutting someone off and finding a new regular, but when they cut you off after you’ve had sex with them that seems like it would just suck. Now you may have to see them at your job giving some woman more money than he gave you and she’s not even f*cking him. Even as a stripper you have to know your worth. Also more importantly know what you will and will not do, because you will be pressured into many things. For example I see girls at my club tongue kissing men, getting oral sex in VIP, jacking d*cks off and more lol. I would never do any of those things especially in the strip club for a few hundred dollars. If you have a price you better set the bar high, because that will eliminate a lot of the bs.
Lastly I’m gonna talk to the men. If a woman in the strip club has sex with you then I can assure you that you are not the only one! Here in Atlanta 1 in every 51 people have HIV and we have 5 million people so be careful. Also if you want to have sex with a woman tell her that so she has the choice to decide, but tricking someone into sex is never ok. Moreover if you want to have sex for money find someone who is selling sex! Don’t expect to walk in the strip club, find your perfect girl for your perfect price and expect her to give you the goods. Let me help you. Craigslist.com Backpage.com. Your welcome.