As a stripper dating can be very tough and there are all kinds of people you have to watch out for which is why we are very weary to tell a man we’re interested in that we are indeed strippers. Some men will date you because they are trying to live out a fantasy, some men will want to date you because they figure they don’t have to support you since you may appear to make a lot of money, and some men will just be plain lazy and try to use you. All of these men lie to you about why they are dating you so it will be up to you to read the signs they give and not just listen to the sweet nothings. If a man truly cares about you then he will not be using you for any of the reasons I stated above, but sometimes we are blindsided by wolves in sheep clothing. Once you have fallen or even worse gone to bed with this liar things can become more difficult and complicated, but it is best to leave once you assess that this man is actually more interested in your job than you.
Ok now on to the story. I met a girl at my job that I mentioned in my birthday blog post. (check it out) This girl was telling me about her boyfriend who is 20 whole years older than her. First of all coming from a young woman who dated a man almost 20 years older than me I do not recommend doing that unless the man really proves he loves you because a lot of them like dating young women because they feel we are low maintenance because firstly we are young and naive or they pay for the opportunity to take us to bed. The girl was telling me how happy she was with him and how she doesn’t want to meet his kid yet and they’ve been dating for 8 months smh. That already sounded crazy to me. I stopped applying my makeup and I turned around to look at her and laughed. I said “girl you don’t wanna have kids by that old man do you?” She said yes. Lol. I said girl unless he is spoiling you leave him alone. I also told her if he was really your boyfriend and cared about you the wa you care about him then you wouldn’t be in the strip club at all. She also told me he hasn’t given her any gifts in the time they have been dating and she also lives with him. Wtf? He also doesn’t give her any money. I understand that he may not have the funds to completely spoil her, but if she’s living with him and giving him sex then he at least needs to help her out with her young life that he’s stealing away from her. She looked at me completely dumbfounded when I told her everything I had to say.
The next day when I saw the girl she gave me a big hug and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. I didn’t tell her to go and do all that, but she told me the conversation we had really clicked in her mind. Everything she had been ignoring came to the light so she had a conversation with her boyfriend and what he told her left he speechless. She said when she confronted him about the relationship he told her that he was her pimp and she was his hoe. She was so shocked she couldn’t believe it. She said she had never seen him behave the way he was when she had the conversation with him about their relationship. She also told me that she had a joint account with him where she put $9,000 that she made in two months and he took it all. She will make all that money back ten fold and he will lose it as quickly as he could steal it. That was crazy to me. I told her the only thing I could and that was the truth. I said “girl be happy he was honest with you, because he could have lied and you still would have believed him.” I continued and to tell he about the truth hurts, but it certainly sets you free. When people tell you the truth they are giving you options and after that you can no longer blame them for the way they are treating you, because you are allowing it. Even if someone is not treating you the way you want to be treated after you observe it you still can’t really blame them. She left him cold turkey and the only thing she said is that she felt stupid and assured her that it happens to the best of us and just be happy that it’s over now. She sounded very free like she was happy to be away from him and take on the world and I’m happy for her.
Never neglect your happiness in exchange for someone elses happiness and you definitely shouldn’t be dimming your light for a man.