Telling You I Have The Right To Say ‘Yes or No’ Doesn’t Make Me A Femminist

Being a 23 year old woman find myself in some pretty potentially hot situations sometimes. In the past I’ve felt that it was someone my womanly duty release my body to a man to show him how much I liked him and judging by the fact that I still haven’t found a man who I really want to spend my life with I could have just as easily walked away from them and have been perfectly fine. When women have a sexual relationship with a man we form an emotional tie whether we want to admit that or not and the man may not see it that way or respect our feminine nature in that way as well. In the heat of the moment women can want sex just as much as a man, but what happens after the moment is a very different thing. I feel as a man choosing to have sex with a woman is a great responsibility and as a woman allowing a man to have your body is something you need to think about beyond the moment of passion.

There have been plenty of times when I had zero feelings for a man until we had sex and then I felt some sort of ownership towards him even if we were essentially nothing but sex partners. Granted he wouldn’t be able to complete the act without me, but I was usually willing because I felt it perpetuated our relationship and it was what kept him staying. I know kind of understand that isn’t the case at all no matter what the man tells you. The choice is always yours and you can always use your digression however you see fit. No matter how nice a man is any man will say whatever he needs to say to get you to have sex with him unless he is truly god’s child lol. Saying no can actually be a really liberating thing as a woman and I find that it does give me a lot of personal power. There have been time when I’ve had some amazing sex and felt like some one took a straw and literally drained all the happiness from my soul the next day. It like over the course of the very next day you can literally feel the chemistry of your emotions change and if the guy is really inconsiderate it can all be downhill from there especially of you continue to have sex with him.

I have also felt the complete opposite where I was really wanting to have sex with a guy to the point where I was trying to convince myself why it would be ok to do so eve if I knew it was not going to end well. I’m talking passionate kissing, hugging, and all kinds of foreplay. I found that if I held on to my willpower just for that one night I had much more clarity on the situation as a whole and mos of the time I didn’t like the guy for more than another month until I realized what he really wanted. I was dating a guy who told me he was with his ex for 3 years because they had sex very soon and that was scary to me because he cheated on her a lot and she still stayed. Had she exercised her ability to say no then she could have saved herself so many hard lesson, but hey such is life. I’m not perfect and I’ve been there many times so I’m definitely not judging. I just find freedom in my ability to say no and whether a man wants to deal with that or not is not my problem, but I want to have more respect for myself and more importantly a relationship that is based upon something more than great sex.

If you want to call me a feminist then that is fine, but I know who I am and if you feel like saying no makes a woman a feminist then go get yourself a yes girl who is probably saying yes to all the men.

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