So yes I am a single person, but I am getting over a relationship right now. This relationship did not serve me in anyway and I finally realized that and also why. I had to really realize that I serve myself better than this person does and the trivial good times were not worth my time. So I haven’t seen him in about a month and I was struggling with that in the beginning lol. Then I began waking up meditating, doing my yoga, breathing and squats and by the time my workout was over my thought process was way different. I realized that the more I love myself the more I should not allow people into my life who do not value my existence the way I do. As I said before I am a totally different person last year than I am before and I know this probably scares that person that I can grow with out him lol. So now I wish him nothing but happiness and release the negative emotions.
He texted me yesterday and I was a little surprised, but not really and I was admittedly a little happy. Then I realized it was the same old bs so I began to feel different about the text. I was feeling so unpleasant that I didn’t want to do anything but get back in the bed, but I can’t allow people make my life stop like that so I got up and went to go do some good self care. I got a pedicure and talked to a loving friend that further motivated me to get up and go to work, because at this point I was so not in the mood to go to work. I’m so glad she motivated me because when she got to work she was feeling down and I also motivated her which I love that we can do that for each other. A friend in hard times is always a friend to love. When I look back and remember those people who made me feel great when I had no positive thoughts in my mind it just makes me grateful and I realize how much I don’t need the ones who weren’t there.
The problem I had yesterday breathing through the fire. I call it breathing through fire because when you have a negative thought you can spread through your mind like fire.
I realize that in life you will have those negative thoughts that will spread through your mind like fire. If these negative thoughts are only in your mind, but they are affecting your physical state then you can water those thoughts, put them out and replace them with seeds of positive thoughts. I feel like negative thoughts may spread quicker than positive thoughts, but if you maintain the positive seeds you have seen then you will soon just have a garden of positive thoughts and if a fire does occur you will still have the experience of putting the fire out and replacing those thoughts with positive thoughts. I am not perfect and I always have to practice breathing through fire and rebuilding my garden, but once the fruit bears it makes me so much more grateful for the ability to do so and that turns into a habit that I only want to practice. Lastly once I have a huge garden of positive thoughts that fire dies all the way down and eventually it goes to place in my mind where t serves a different purpose. The fire thoughts can be thoughts that keep you warm when contained and remind you of why they deserve to be in a trivial place.