As a stripper dating can be very tough and there are all kinds of people you have to watch out for which is why we are very weary to tell a man we’re interested in that we are indeed strippers. Some men will date you because they are trying to live out a fantasy, some men will want to date you because they figure they don’t have to support you since you may appear to make a lot of money, and some men will just be plain lazy and try to use you. All of these men lie to you about why they are dating you so it will be up to you to read the signs they give and not just listen to the sweet nothings. If a man truly cares about you then he will not be using you for any of the reasons I stated above, but sometimes we are blindsided by wolves in sheep clothing. Once you have fallen or even worse gone to bed with this liar things can become more difficult and complicated, but it is best to leave once you assess that this man is actually more interested in your job than you.
Ok now on to the story. I met a girl at my job that I mentioned in my birthday blog post. (check it out) This girl was telling me about her boyfriend who is 20 whole years older than her. First of all coming from a young woman who dated a man almost 20 years older than me I do not recommend doing that unless the man really proves he loves you because a lot of them like dating young women because they feel we are low maintenance because firstly we are young and naive or they pay for the opportunity to take us to bed. The girl was telling me how happy she was with him and how she doesn’t want to meet his kid yet and they’ve been dating for 8 months smh. That already sounded crazy to me. I stopped applying my makeup and I turned around to look at her and laughed. I said “girl you don’t wanna have kids by that old man do you?” She said yes. Lol. I said girl unless he is spoiling you leave him alone. I also told her if he was really your boyfriend and cared about you the wa you care about him then you wouldn’t be in the strip club at all. She also told me he hasn’t given her any gifts in the time they have been dating and she also lives with him. Wtf? He also doesn’t give her any money. I understand that he may not have the funds to completely spoil her, but if she’s living with him and giving him sex then he at least needs to help her out with her young life that he’s stealing away from her. She looked at me completely dumbfounded when I told her everything I had to say.
The next day when I saw the girl she gave me a big hug and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. I didn’t tell her to go and do all that, but she told me the conversation we had really clicked in her mind. Everything she had been ignoring came to the light so she had a conversation with her boyfriend and what he told her left he speechless. She said when she confronted him about the relationship he told her that he was her pimp and she was his hoe. She was so shocked she couldn’t believe it. She said she had never seen him behave the way he was when she had the conversation with him about their relationship. She also told me that she had a joint account with him where she put $9,000 that she made in two months and he took it all. She will make all that money back ten fold and he will lose it as quickly as he could steal it. That was crazy to me. I told her the only thing I could and that was the truth. I said “girl be happy he was honest with you, because he could have lied and you still would have believed him.” I continued and to tell he about the truth hurts, but it certainly sets you free. When people tell you the truth they are giving you options and after that you can no longer blame them for the way they are treating you, because you are allowing it. Even if someone is not treating you the way you want to be treated after you observe it you still can’t really blame them. She left him cold turkey and the only thing she said is that she felt stupid and assured her that it happens to the best of us and just be happy that it’s over now. She sounded very free like she was happy to be away from him and take on the world and I’m happy for her.
Never neglect your happiness in exchange for someone elses happiness and you definitely shouldn’t be dimming your light for a man.
I want to write this blog post very thoroughly lol. Or as thorough as I can. Around this exact time last year I had a huge nervous breakdown. I cried for about 3 months straight and I was just having a huge growing process. I learned that nervous breakdowns are not always bad things, but you won’t realize that unless you are able to overcome them. I couldn’t understand what was going on, but now I understand very clearly. I was trying to live up to the standard of the world when I should have just been living up to my own standard and not giving a f*ck about what anyone including my family had to say about this life that I chose for myself. I was strong enough to win a race from the beginning of my own existence and that should say a lot about every human being in general. I disliked how people would ask me questions that I couldn’t answer such as “what are you doing with your life?” Who can really answer that at 22? And I also felt like it wasn’t any of their business because it’s not like they were supporting me anyway. A good quote I’ll always remember from my little cousin’s graduation that her class president wrote reads “If you cannot build someone up please don’t tear them down.”
At this very moment I would like to acknowledge the fact that I am 24 years old and in a physical & emotional place in life that I love. I am trying to find a balance between good and evil and that’s an everyday battle, but I’m doing a great job in my opinion. I am also peaceful, content and happy with my surroundings which is the most important thing to me. When I was living with my family I alway had a fire in my throat, because there were always things I wanted to say, but I knew they just wouldn’t understand or would have a closed-minded opinion of and they aggravated me a lot. I don’t have that fire now. I won’t say that life is perfect, but I feel more at ease with it at this point in my life. I remember almost every birthday I’ve ever had especially from ages 9-23 and this thing they call life has not been easy by a long shot, but it has been awesome when I chose my destiny.
Surprisingly the happiest thing about my birthday last year was also the saddest and that was the fact that I was searching for happiness within someone who did not bring me any happiness except in the bedroom. That is embarrassing for me to say, but its true. I can’t pretend like it didn’t happen and if I ignored that fact I’d be lying to myself. No matter what he told me he didn’t show me and the proof will away be in the pudding. Actions make life. It makes me happy to realize the truth though and sn be looking for another blog post on advice I gave to a girl I work with about the truth 🙂 lol. I now see what my older sister was trying to tell me, but I refused to understand. I now see why my grandma told me that getting older is a blessing, because it is. It’s a blessing to be able to live another year and learn from mistakes. Furthermore it is more of a blessing to realize that it is never too late and the clock is still ticking as long as it is ticking. I also learned that sometimes you can’t help who yo fall for, but you can learn more about yourself to understand what may be right for you.
Moreover now that I am one year older one thing I finally understand that my older sister kept telling me is “Your young, live your life.” I believe the growth I pushed myself through helps me to understand this whole heartedly. I can’t wait for someone who won’t come through or is taking too long to do so. It takes two people to make something work. While I was dating this guy I also dated other guys just to keep busy and I think if anyone know that there are more fish in the sea it should be me lol. I stand here today one year older and truly one year wiser on top of all of my other wise years. If people want to live their life how they see fit that is fine, but if that way does not make me happy then I finally realize that I have the choice to not be apart of their lives.
LastlyI can only tell my stroy the way I see fit and if you don’t like that the big red “X” in the right hand corner can fix that. I will have an amazing birthday and I will choose happiness and I will enjoy myself, because we are only physically born once, but we can choose to be born again with each passing year depending on the decisions we make for ourselves and not others. Today I will speak up and tell people what it is I want and don’t want and like or don’t like and I will have no regrets about my, because I know I did the best I could for me.
P.S. If You’re in Atlanta I’ll be at the Jazz Festival so come party with me !
` I have big dreams of using my money to do something I really want to do. I’ve been visualizing and speaking amazing things into the physical life.Ok anyway I smoked some weed yesterday and got too stoned and now I feel like I’m bored. Before I smoked the weed I was so stoked to just get everything done I want done, but then something changed and I want that feeling of complacency to go away. I feel like when you smoke weed its crazy how simple you see the world and you still realize how it complex it is as well. After smoking the weed I kind of have a “what’s the point” state of mind. Life is about change though and there is a point. There is also a sense that all of your hard work has not gone unnoticed and that is very important. I’m stripping and if anyone deserves amazing things its me. rambles lol drunk rambles.
I guess I was just thrown way off of my schedule yesterday. I spent the night at my girlfriend’s other girlfriend’s house and we basically stayed up until 6 in the morning eating disgusting food , smoking too much weed and not having as intelligent conversationas I prefer. I like being at my house and waking up to my own routine. Her room was very dark which I guess is good to sleep in, but I like to be awakened by sunlight and flowers so I can pop right up and feel refreshed. I can’t sleep in a room that makes me want to sleep in all day. So after I left I tried to get back on track, and it was kinda hard, but I did what I could.I did a little work out at home, went to eat and basically went back to work. My friend and her friend actually didn’t even come to work and that’s a mess to me because we turned up kinda hard friday and didn’t even make the money we wanted so both of them should have been at work, but whatever I guess we’re all allowed an off day. If I didn’t go to work I would have felt very unproductive and especially since we were smoking weed until 6 in the morning and woke up smoking it too. I also feel like it is very important to mention that the other girl told us she snorted a line of coke and that’s just a hot flaming mess to me. How are you gonna go to work and snort coke with girls you don’t even know and then you turn around and miss work.
The girl also had some guys over which is ok and I don’t care because it is her house, but why are you entertaining one guy and have your other guy in the room waiting for you to come to bed. Neither one of them was giving us any money so f*ck them. I think her homeboy thought he was going to get some free entertainment because he was feeling on my friend which she did not like, but didn’t say anything for some reason. She did however tell me that she wanted him to leave and I understand why. Like why the f*ck are you rubbing on her? What snsible grown man does that? And on top of that you didn’t give her any money and you know she’s a stripper thats very disrespectful, but then again she should have told him to stop. Bottom line just keep your hands to yourself unless you’re giving her money because this isn’t even the strip club at this point. My friend’s mom doesn’t know that she strips either and she wanted to chill so all of that extra stuff was annoying to her. I felt like I was with one of those strippers who take the lifestyle too seriously. I mean like who snorts coke at work girl c’mon. Even smoking weed is too much for me. I may smoke a little on my off time. but I’m not gonna be high at work. There comes a time where you have to put that foolish stuff behind you and handle your business at home. I also don’t have time to be in a daze all day.
I’m finally back on my good vibes tho! I’m at the park listening to music on my bluetooth speaker and writing. I’m also planning what I want to do for my birthday, my mom’s birthday which is 2 days before mine and my little cousin’s graduation because she’s the validictorian! I’m about to goto the mall with my friend and look for an outfit, a gift for my mom and think about what I want to get for my little cousin. This week is going to be very fun.
I understand everyone can’t afford to have as much fun as they would like to in the strip club, but if that’s the case just sit back and watch…. maybe tip a few dollars when you can too. The one thing I hate in the strip club is a grown a** man who tries to hustle a stripper. Don’t be the guy talking about you started dancing mid song and then turn around and ask me to dance again then try not to pay me for the second dance! Men like that basically just want to molest and feel you up for free and I actually don’t mind touching as long as you are paying good money to touch! If you are being a cheap a** on the other hand then you need to keep your hand to yourself and just enjoy the show. If you have to do all that then you need to stay your behind at home because I can guarantee you’ll only have one time to try that trick someone before word spreads to all the strippers. The next thing you know you’re the one with egg on your face because you are going to be treated like less of a man and I know that no man wants to be treated that way. If you have some respect for yourself then just be honest and do what you can, but don’t try to hustle a stripper because we won’t waste our time on anyone like that and if a girl does fall for that then you should be ashamed of yourself because you came into her place of business where she goes to make a living. You wouldn’t want anyone wasting your time so don’t waste hers and if you can’t afford to be with a stripper then just stay away from the strip club.
I’m still very new to blogging and all of my post are purely therapeutic for me. Even thought this is only my 100th post I never intended for this blog to be some kind of money making scheme or anything like that however I would like to broaden my horizon and do some more fun stuff on here. I’m super grateful for anyone following me but I’d still blog even if I had no followers simply because I love what I do and it helps me more than anything. If you are reading this I would like you to comment on any questions you may have for me whether that is regarding stripping, moving out from your family, how I stay happy and positive or anything because I am more than willing to answer almost anything.
The most recent post I’m trying to make is songs that I like to dance to. It seems like when I hear a song I like I’m too busy enjoying my jam to write it down, and when I get to the computer I can’t remember wtf I was listening to lol.
Lastly again I will also be taking personal questions regarding your life as well and that is not limited to stripping questions. If you send me questions I will certainly write a blog post for you answering them.
So I went to work yesterday and meh. These white guys where trying to get my friend and I to do some coke, but of course I don’t do that sh*t so I declined, but I did hit her blunt and smoke some weed oil. I haven’t smoked weed in 5 months and I forgot about how it gives you that out-of-body experience. I was so scared to smoke it because I didn’t want to have a bad trip or get addicted, but I was around a loving friend and it was awesome. I wouldn’t do it again excessively, but it was so amazing! Its like I could read everyone’s body motions where as to normally I wouldn’t pay attention to that so much. Those white boys were tweaking and it was so funny and my friend was funny too, because she was super alert lmao.
I don’t think I want to strip under the influence of weed though because it just makes me look at people too weird. I like a normal point of view so I’ll stick to my regular drink . It was absolutely amazing to get that happy feeling back for the night though. I was just in heaven thinking about all kinds of happy things. I didn’t realize how beneficial marijuana was when you don’t abuse it. I can see how I got addicted to this drug and trying to use it to mask the real world and my problems.
The last effect the weed gave me was business confidence. It was like I felt like I could succeed at anything I tried and I wasn’t afraid to do the things I want to do. I also see why super successful people do drugs. When drugs are used correctly they give you this super amazing creativity that can be crossed into any whatever area you are focusing on. Again do not abuse drugs lol.
SN: I’m not sure if forgot but I don’t remember having a dream when I was high. I always have dreams every night and I love them whether they are scary or happy. I love being in that alternate world and I hope marijuana doesn’t block that for me. Last year when I was smoking weed more heavily I also experienced many nights where I did not dream and I did not like that. All in all I am not going to start back smoking weed that heavily, but I will smoke it when I want to induce my creative juices because it was awesome for that.
So yesterday my friend left town and I was thrown completely off of my axis. After I realized I missed court that threw me off even more and I may not actually be back to my full self until tomorrow. I had to wake up super early for court today and I still have to go to work which will end late tonight. After work I’ll get a good sleep and be supercharged tomorrow.
The first thing I like to do to start my work week off strong is writing my work schedule by day and time. Even if I do not stick to the exact time I always prepare myself to work and my mind knows that is the most important task to complete in the day above all.
I also like to give myself something else to do besides work because the thought of only working can be slightly morbid. I like to either go to the park and work out or if I don’t have time for that I just work out here in my room. I also like to do some light research, window shopping aka visualization, eat and mostly importantly take a nap if I can fall asleep or fit it in.
I also like to start my work week off with clean laundry and linens because we all know cleanliness is next to godliness.
Lastly I like to put whatever I did not like about the past week behind me and only think about the best that is to come. Finally finally I like to be grateful for what I have had and even more grateful for what is to come.
Now I don’t ask people how much money they make or tell them how to spend it because I don’t care about how much money you make or how you spend it! My friend was over last night and I was computer screen window shopping and he said just buy it. lmao Girl I could have slit his throat when he said that. I don’t spend my money carelessly and if i do it’s because I want to and not because someone pressures me into buying something I don’t need right now. I’m a stripper and yes the money can be good… sometimes, but tomorrow isn’t guaranteed so you have to save that sh*t for dear life. I also believe in saving because I have barely been given anything except the bare necessities by my parents and that stopped years ago whether I wanted to acknowledge that or not. He also said he wants to make a plan for me lol…. y’all why are the gods testing me? I hope he was talking about with his money because I don’t need him planning on anything with my money. That’s my job and I do it happily. I’m the one getting naked for 45 year old white men not him so I’ll plan on what to do with this money myself. I really can’t stand people trying to help me and really not help at f*cking all instead they just want to control me because they feel like it’s a good opportunity to do so and the last time I checked that was called a pimp or something and I don’t do that. So let me get this straight I’m supposed to work for my money, and allow someone to tell me how to spend it? I don’t think so. I wish people would let me do that for them I’d have a f*cking field day. If I want financial advice I’d ask someone who’s opinion I valued and not just follow random unsolicited advice.
As soon as I left court today I thought I was going to work, but when I got there it was not too busy. I know this means nothing since it was a little early, but I still feeling like that was not going to put me in a working mood. Someone also told me it was a lot of girls there which also again means nothing, but I didn’t feel like it today, because those girls can get crazy when its like that and the atmosphere felt a little negative. I sat in the parking lot and a guy told me about how it was that great and another guy tried to pick me up I guess for sex and of course I don’t do that so I said no. He was also not my type of client so evenif I would have seen him in the club I would not have given him the time of day. I have to be at court early in the morning and I thought I just needed togo home instead of barley making what I want. Call me spoiled, but time is either money or happiness and it wasn’t looking like enough money to risk my happines. I’m going to work everyday this week so I’ll be fine. Writing makes me happy so that is what I’m doing and I’m satisfied with that doing this tonight and I’ll be back to my hustling tomorrow because May is a crazy month for me. I have lots of saving to do for this month and the summer.
I actually love where I live now that I am settled in. There are strange bugs here that scare the crap out of me, but I’m still so happy. I feel kind of bad sometimes for being so happy about being away from my family, but I’d rather it be this way than me being with them and miserable. Sometime I feel happy enough to visit them tho lol. My house is on a main street which can be a little noisy, but I from the hood honey so all I know is noise and I prefer this noise anyday. I also love how my room has a window right beside a sweet-smelling bush so when I open the window I can smell the flowers. I don’t have it decorated exactly as I want right now, but I love the way it is right now. My roommates are very low-key even though they aren’t the cleanest bunch I can deal with it for now. I love everything about my peaceful area. I never thought I could be on my own, but its the best freedom I’ve ever had. I have the sweetest dreams every night and its put me in the perfect mood to go to work. I don’t have to explain everything I do to nosey judgmental or anyone in general because this is my life and I pay for it.
I’m going to do some more light decorating on the walls and then work my way to the bathroom, because it needs lots of attention lmao. I also have the perfect place to work in peace here with no distractions. I also have the loveliest homeless squatters next door who my white male roommate seems to find very hipster, but ugh whatever lol. The house is huge and I’m always running down the hall and its the funniest thing to me. It reminds me of living in a dorm. I actually didn’t plan on moving out so soon, but a dear empathic friend of mind warned me to leave if I wanted to keep my sanity and I’m so glad I listened, because I didn’t need a repeat of last year.