I’m trying to be the best me I can be, but I am human. Drunk stealing my car. Not such a great idea, but drunk blog posting is even better. I have evolved so much and it would be dumb of me to get comfortable right now. I guess after tonight I have to plan a little harder since I don’t know what the consequences of my actions will be. I’ll be at my new club for most of the week. Tipsy. Living with myself. Still proud of myself. I even found my phone charger which is a major win for myself :).
Tonight I danced for a couple most of the night. I’m never sure if women enjoy me dancing for them as much as the men do. I think women would enjoy it more if I gave them the money haha. As a woman I know that no woman really wants her man with another woman. That’s such a contradiction because so many men enjoy the company of another woman. I think women who come to the strip club sacrifice their happiness for the happiness of their man. As a woman I think a real man would sacrifice temptation for the happiness of their woman. I wonder what the statistic of depression is for women vs men. I think naturally there are more women who suffer with depression because statistically there are more women on earth than there are men. That probably has a lot to do with the facts of life. Sometimes I think about what it would take to make this world a balanced place and that’s kind of a dark subject. Malcolm X said you have to be willing to die for what you believe in and I feel like only dying young could prove my point.
I think there is nothing I want more than a lifetime of happiness for every woman on this earth. I hate to make it a race issue, but being a black woman is especially harsh. I’m never to sure what I can do to help the movement and honestly the best thing I feel like I can do is live my life freely and not owe anyone anything. My dad always told me you don’t owe anyone anything. That’s so hard for me to believe, but I have to believe that to be true. I don’t owe anyone anything. whether that be a young or old woman and any man, because each day is a new day to live my dreams for myself. I still can’t believe what I blew on the breathalyzer lol. Its really not funny, but if I owed you guys so much then where were you when I really needed you?