I’m 23 years old and all of the women in my family are first generation college students. My mom and dad did attend college, but they were also plagued by lack of support by their parents too and I think that’s why it was difficult to give me the support I felt a parent should give their child. Now that I’m an adult I guess I understand the saying “If you knew better you’d do better”. However I don’t allow myself to be blissfully ignorant because I actually understand the importance of knowledge, learning and more importantly accountability. My parents did teach me these things, but they just didn’t say it in those exact words. I can definitely tell they suffered from lack of support and love my dad even told me to never marry for love lol….he may been bitten by the bitter bug.
Naturally I wanted my family to happily support my unconventional lifestyle I even did the whole college thing for them even though I initially majored in History in college instead of a science or math major like my dad advised….I wish I would’ve just ignored him all together and majored in psychology like I wanted to, but life is a journey so now I’m a stripper haha. I can’t believe how far my personality has come. Unfortunately I’m a real human being how does seek support and that’s fine, because I don’t live on this earth alone. My family is so unsupportive I feel like had to sneak and move out for fear of what the negative comments would do to my self esteem. FORTUNATELY I clearly don’t seek support from my elder family members, friends who are not really friends and most importantly men. I do think there are some amazing men in this world, but my choice in men hasn’t been the best…. as I listen to a Future song. I’ve really learned to believe the things you surround yourself are what you become and I’m working on that whole positive environment thing.
I think now I get my strength and support from myself everything I put my mind and I follow through with actually comes true. When I relying on support from all the wrong people, including my family its like I was running in place which was the most frustrating thing. I would come up with these great ideas, begin them and then share them with people who didn’t seem to be as excited for me as I wanted them to be and that’s what caused the running in place motion. Ultimately I have to live to make yourself happy and then I’ll be a magnet for the people that are really meant to be in your life. At the same time I will not always have someone there cheer me on so I really had to learn how to move quietly and strategically in my own favor. Its crazy how as a human I really want to be with someone, but the most rewarding time I have is the time I have alone with myself. You really can’t expect anyone value your time if you don’t value your own time. No one wants to be around and unproductive person. Moreover that is why we always want to be in the presence of a successful or famous person. If you really want to be around those kind of people it would be wise of you to spend some time alone until you make yourself the kind of person they want to be around.
After all of this reflection I can say that I don’t regret any move I’ve made, because I have learned from any decision I’ve made including the decision to be a stripper and clearly that’s not something many people would support.